Introducing.....

So I guess it's time to introduce you all to Dennis. ----------->
Dennis is my new dance partner, and he is an absolutely fabulous and beautiful dancer! This weekend I went to Birmingham (where he lives) for our rehearsal, and got to meet his beautiful wife and kids...oh and the dogs..can't forget them!! We definitely give each other a run for our time. When I first met him, he told me that he loves to practice, so that made me very happy because I REALLY love to practice....and then when we had our first rehearsal...Oh my gosh...when you put two people together who love to practice...it never ends...and I leave barely able to walk out the door!! I complain to Britt FOREVER about being sore..but really it's great, and considering that we only get to practice 2 or 3 days a week because we live in different places, our practicing addictions work to our benefit! Things are shaping up very quickly, and I am very excited!!!

A third great LOVE

#1- my personal hottie (britt)
#2- dancing
and drum roll please........

#3 cooking!!!!!!!

I REALLY REALLY love to cook. I mean REALLY! I started doing my own cooking pretty young. When I got married, I started cooking ALL the time...like tons! I would come home from work and start cooking not ever realizing just how relaxing it is for me. I love to create things and this is just one more avenue for me to do that. I like to get ideas from other recipes and then create my own versions or just give it a total makeover altogether! I also enjoy doing things for people...ok more like pleasing people, so I feel like I can do that by cooking. Since I now have DVR, I have started watching a ton of food network...which I love and is even more amazing on my 42" HDTV. The other day I was watching it and I caught myself thinking..." I could really do this for a living and really love it!" Of course having my own show would be ultimate cause I could still be an entertainment personality and a cook, but I think it would be SOOO fun to even just do catering or go to culinary school and become a top chef. If I had lots of time and money I would do just that...I would spend half of my day learning to cook and cooking and the other half training for dance and dancing....WHAT A BLAST that would be! So be looking for my recipe and experiment postings and updates!!

sweet peace of closure

And a HUGE sigh of relief! A burden lifted, bitterness turned sweet, and the black yuckyness in my heart and spirit now cleared and replaced with peace. Closure. Open honesty. Candid, blunt, up front, forward..whatever you want to call it; it is SO key in SO many things! Why do we mask things under ambiguity or "sugar" ? I don't get it, and I never have. It clouds communication, and as we have ALL heard time and time again.."communication is key". We hear it all the time about making marriages work, but it isn't just marriages. That holds true for all relationships from friendships to business relationships. When communication is clouded it complicates things by bringing ambiguity in the picture. When ambiguity makes it's way in, as humans we start to assume to make up for the lack of clarity. And assuming, as we all have experienced, is almost NEVER good or fruitfull. Why can't we all just be clear, open, and honest all the time?

Sometimes I think people have this idea that they don't want to deal with confrontation, so they create a distance in a realtionship. This IS a block in the communication line and creates ambiguity(which we've established is BAD). This is actually what WILL lead to a VERY confrontational situation which is what they were running from in the first place. So again being upfront, open, and honest from the get go is the solution.

I also think that sometimes people are too concerned with offending others. Well I think that you can't offend; people CHOOSE to take offense. I'm not saying to be rude to people. There is a difference in being up front and honest and being down right rude. Rudeness is created by adding poor attitude to your words.

Communicate and do so clearly, openly, and honestly.

This is another one of those things that ties to dancing. If the communication lines (your frame or center) is broken or blocked there is no clarity and assumption begins...ahhh disaster!!

just a quick note

There are so many times when I'm teaching a lesson to a couple that I want to parallel the dancing relationship to a marriage...but I have to remind myself that I'm not a marriage counselor. I use many references when I teach but I don't know that this one is appropriate to use...though VERY relevant. Thoughts are appreciated. I have a friend who is a student and has also realized this paralleled relationship and is writing a book about it. This excited me sooo much!! I encourage all to follow and read it!!! Her blog is linked to the word friend above!!!

Nashville Starz

WHOA!!! This past week and weekend has been a whirlwind! Nashville Starz competition was a great success!! I had one student competing and he did so very well!! I was very pleased with his placement! The whole studio actually did very well. Friday went down without any major bumps. Saturday, however, was crazy as one of our instructors ended up in the ER and Sunday was a blast! I am SOOO excited about the next couple of months. I am going to start working as a rep. for Dore` Designs. I have been interested in joining a designer for some time, and am going to start here soon. Since I won't be on the competition floor as pro/pro for a while, it's also going to be an awesome way to keep myself in the ballroom/competition circuit while I am searching for a new partner. The next couple of months is going to be sooo very busy. My schedule is really picking up and I'll be starting with Dore soon. Trying to find a time to head back home to Texas to see the fam will be a challenge.

so confused

Sometimes it is so hard to describe what is going on inside. I wish I could just pull it all out of me and lay it a paper to analyze...like when Dumbledorf pulls memories out of his head.

I'm so bad with words...that is why I dance. Dancing for me is a way that I can outwardly express an inward emotion. I remember a coaching I had with David Hamilton where he had me describe the feeling I had when he danced each particular way. I couldn't do it...I had no words to describe it. HAHa and I remember telling him " I don't know..I can't find a word...I'm not good with words, David, that's why I dance." BUT I could react and respond to his dancing with my own dancing and it matched in tone. And THAT is the beauty of dancing...THAT is what it is all about...taking the energy given, creating and moving with it, and then giving it back.His point in this lesson was to show that you must be able to "move" your partner by the energy you give, and that a great partnership would possess that quality. For the first time in my dancing career, I was able to experience that. That is huge for me. I am a pretty stubborn person and a very emotional one. The combination of these two attributes means that I won't "move" for just anything. I am very sensitive to the energy I feel from people, and to "move" me on the dance floor, I must feel a genuine energy. I have danced with people before that just go through the steps....analyzing each movement and dancing far too much from their brain instead of their heart. It is SO hard to produce a product that moves the audience if it doesn't move you. That is what the arts are about right? Moving people, touching their hearts and souls, speaking to them on a deeper level? Communicating those things is what makes us artists. People, talking about all people in general, love the arts because it bypasses the brain and touches them in their soul and takes them to a new place...whether it be the artist or the person viewing the art. That is why I love what I do...because I touch and change the soul of a person... their core...the basis of a human. So on the competitive end it's about how many judges you can move. Don't get me wrong; technicality is a part of it as well (and we all know it can get political) , but a couple can be very technically correct and BORING!! There are several top couples right now that I would describe this way. The only one that isn't are the current title holders of the American smooth. They do the most simplistic things but they MOVE people. I want to be that ...I want to be the most moving. (big sigh) And now I'm back at square one, but I'm gonna for for it, and I'll win....and it may take me years to find another partner that I can know I can accomplish that with, but it'll happen.

Maybe I'm not too bad with words....so after all that...those are the feelings I have inside about dancing...and right now I feel like that has been ripped out. And as a cherry on top the two friends here I had hoped to become great friends with suddenly don't seem to feel the same...

Sensory Sensative

So I have come to realize that I am a very sensory sensative person. The biggest thing that has affected me lately is the lack of sunshine. I like the dreary weather a few times a year...it has it's time and place. I also LOVE the snow....that's special all in it's own. HOWEVER....day after day after day of dreary weather and no sign of the sun I have determined can drive me clinically INSANE!!!! I think my body just needs it...maybe my mind too. Maybe it's just because I grew up in Texas where the sun is ALWAYS visible...but I think it's more than that. I think MY being just needs it!!! Another thing I have noticed that I am super sensitive to is the attitude I am surrounded by. For example, if I hear a crabby person, I suddenly get this assertive/anxious feeling in my body that makes me want to get up and leave. If I am stuck in that situation and can't leave, I feel like I have to do whatever I can to brighten things up. I literally get this anxiety and need to change the mood. UNLESS it's getting close to that fun time of the month...then you can expect me fire back in crabbiness x10! HAHA!

I wonder if dancing has brought this out in me more...or maybe it's the other way around ... maybe my sensitivity is what enhances my dancing. Letting what I feel from the music flow through my body and then also reacting to whatever my partner gives. That is, in my opinion, one strong suit Chris and I have. We can definately read each other well and feed off of the energy we each give. That is the thing I heard the most from people who watched us dance. I think that is one of the most important things in a professional partnership. Finding that is hard. Everything else can be learned.

So I am SOO excited and very much looking forward to our (Britt and I) night of hot chocolate and christmas lights! I love love it! I really would love to go on a carraige ride...but it's so yucky outside with the rain and sleet not to mention Britt's allergy to horses or any animal for that matter haha! MMMM..hot chocolate, christmas lights and snuggling with my very own personal hottie! It can't get any better than that!! Any ideas of good places to go looking at lights etc is welcomed!!!

OUCH!

So Saturday night went down without any major upsets...thank God! However, my worry from the previous weeks before gave me a very unhappy tummy. I dont' think I gave myself an ulser but my stomach was definately in major knots. I have had knots in my stomach before but nothing like this. It hurt to stretch, hiccup, eat, drink....ugh it was aweful!! But it's gone now...guess I really stressed myself out!!

So this has been the most BLAH birthday month yet....I've been so busy that I haven't gotten to enjoy it at all! And it's almost halfway over already!!

after the battle

Ok so a little disappointing....I came in second in our big game this Thanksgiving....still a threat!! I had another photoshoot the friday after Thanksgiving...can't wait to show you some of the shots. Until then here are a few new ones I recieved from the last shoot...just in time for the holidays!!!

HAHA! This is SOO me at Christmas! Mom, you need this one framed!!





So the winter showcase is this weekend, and Chris and I will be dancing our waltz. Everyone has been waiting to see us dance.....THE PRESSURE...I'm SOOO nervous! I've been nervous for a week and a half now!! AHHH...it's gonna be great!

Britt cracked his right big toe yesterday at work. I didn't think anything could break that big thing, but apparently a 15lb mic stand will do the trick! Poor guy!

I love being silly

So I totally had something I wanted to blog about today and now that I'm sitting at the computer....I forgot. I am in desperate need of some sunshine. We have had WAY too much dreary and grey weather; I literally think I'm going to be sick if I don't see the sun. I need a good West Texas sunset!! Anyhow...I starting putting up my Christmas decorations and tree this weekend..I know it is before Thanksgiving but this is MY holiday afterall and I am uber excited about it. Yes I do claim Christmas as my own..haha. I love the spirit of this holiday...it is just so thrilling and not to mention a much more romantic holiday than any other which only increases my liking of it since I am a romantic. OH and of course....it is only a few days away from my birthday..making it all the more exciting and MINE..haha! I am definately looking forward to Thanksgiving too though. NOT for the food...oh geez...I'm losing weight..I dont' need great food infront of me all day!! I am anticipating a good butt kicking...me doing the butt kicking that is...in some very nerdy, strategic, intense, and HIGHLY competative board games. WE're talking risk X100 strategic...games that take a bare minimum of 4 hours to play. I am usually the only female playing...poor guys don't stand a chance. I'm sure they're all plotting about how they'll try to beat me...AAhahahaha...hehe that was my evil laugh! It's soo funny..when I first started playing with them they never suspected anything of me...and then I kept beating them at their own games...hahaha..I'm even a mystery when it comes to gaming!!

So I have been told for the third time that I'm an old spirit. When I first heard this I thought NO WAY... I'm so energetic and youthfull and vibrant, but I am beginning to realize exactly what that means. It doesn't mean I'm old and blah..haha like my wording there??... it means ..um classic, wise..maybe..haha..hmmm what am I?

I am a dance addict; I know that. Hi my name is Merrida and I'm a dancaholic. I'm always itching for my next fix...I literally go through withdrawls! My art is so much a part of who I am.

latest happenings

So nothing new really....not interesting enough to talk about anyhow unless we talk about the recent outcome of the election....not a good idea.

I had a blast at the studio murder mystery/ costume party/ baby shower for shalene. Amy and I were a part of the entertainment of the evening. The setting was 1940's casa blanca 's Hott Cabanna. We were two parts to a trio of sister singers...the third had a sudden case of strep and couldn't join us. We sang an altered version of " You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby" to fit the baby shower. Too fun!

Me and Amy at the MM/COstume party/baby shower!

The studio anniversary party was this past weekend. The best thing about studio events is by far the food...thank you Danny Pugh!!

Me, Melissa, and Lindsey at the anniversary dance!

My experience in "The Shack"

So I finished "The Shack" this weekend. I really enjoyed this book. It describes God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit separately and as the trinity from a very different point of view than I have ever looked from. It also paints a vivid picture of their relationship together and the relationship they have with us. I really liked it. I think everyone has a different perception of who God is to them. Many times it is a direct effect to a parental relationship or a perception created as a child. Sometimes I think this can be a hindrance to the relationship between a person and God. This was definitely the case for me. It was refreshing to have my eyes opened to this, and my perception has changed. Because He is who He is, I think He should be the same to everyone. Not to say that every one's relationship with Him will be the same, but every one's perception of WHO He is , His character, should be identical. For me I had my own experience in the shack as I read the book. There were many things in the book that I've heard all my life, but never really understood or grasped until this weekend. Maybe it sounds silly that I could have gotten so much from a "fiction" book, but I believe God really spoke to me through this. I felt like I could have easily been the main character in the book that God was speaking to. I think a person's growth in a spiritual relationship can easily be paralleled to a person's growth in learning to dance. Sometimes in dance you're body just isn't ready to get or do certain things. Your coach can tell you a million times, and you may teach it a million times before your body grasps it. Many times your body has to go through certain stages before it can move on. You have to realize that you'll get it when you get it. I think our spiritual growth is patterned the same way. You'll get it when you get it...I think I've heard that before..OH yes...when I first learned of the gift of tongues (as a prayer language) through the baptism of the Holy Spirit. WOW..that was amazing..I love that! I definitely recommend this book to anyone!

Today

So after about a week of my new cut, I am really loving it. I have officially decided that my hair looks best short. Maybe I'll just get a really long wig if I get an urge for length again! HA! It's cold and rainy today BLAH! Yesterday Chris brought an ungodly amount of sugary pastries to the studio so needless to say I had a day full of sugar. I mean that literally. I didn't have ANY real food yesterday..oh wait I did for breakfast. I had a bowl of cereal, a small manog strawberry protein shake,1 lg piece of blueberry pie, half of a cinnimon roll, 1 lemon bar, 1 really fat pumpkin custard bar, a dark chocolate almond zone protein bar (not bad but still), and a wheat wrap with organic (so less sugar) peanut butter and protein...this was a really yummy and not so bad for you meal. I haven't had that much sugar in a REALLY long time. Needless to say I couldn't sleep last night. I had choreography styling in my head all night. We scrapped like half of the choreography yesterday...I like to think of it as a good thing. We're at a point where we really know what we have that fits us and what doesn't...I look at that as progression. Sometimes I really realize how far behind him I am and that is frustrating but I quickly divert my mind. If I think about it too long I think I could slip into a deep depression! ha! When there's something I'm not doing correct, I want to be able to fix immediately because I hate to be the one holding us back from progressing. Poor guy...hope he doesn't give up on me! I wish I had had more proper training from the get go of my dancing. I need to find a way to practice just fundamentals and technique...it's so hard to do it on my own and NO WAY would I expect to work on that with chris. That is my mission for this week...finding a solution...and finding more students!!!

Enough about that. So in about a month or two Britt and I will be completely debt free!!! YEAH! Such a huge weight lifted! Hopefully we will get into our own home soon..so back in debt we'll be but a mortgage isn't so bad.

Random thought: I wonder if I could totally switch out my furniture on craigslist??

BIG sigh

So I received an email today from my one and only competative student. He is a college student, and can no longer afford to continue with his lessons. This makes me sad and feel like IT will never happen for me. I really don't like those days that I feel like that. It is so very different to teach a student who has competative intentions. I love it, and now it is gone. I have to remind myself that it is just another phase, and it will open doors for someone new to take his place. It just really came at a bad time right now though. MANY of my current students are wedding couples. It is a great struggle to get these students to continue with their dancing after their wedding. They come in with a mind set that they are there to learn to dance for the wedding, so I have to change that mindset before the wedding. I don't want to change it just for the fact that I need to keep my student body though. I hope that as an instructor I can open the eyes of my students to the greatness of dancing and what it gives...so much that they will want to continue learning. ANyhow, all of them are getting married in OCtober, so my fear is that I will lose a great deal of my teaching hours through this month. ANd now my solid competative student is gone. HUghf! Why is it so hard in the beginning to get things going. I just want like 5 more dedicated and commited students.

Where to find them....

Sometimes I think I've found one. They are so excited about dancing and come across as very dedicated and hard working. They have great passion for it, but then I can't get them to call me back to get booked! I don't understand that approach that people take. It's like they think you're going to eat them alive if they say that they don't want to learn, so they lead you on and tell you the opposite to your face and then run and won't answer the phone to be booked. No courtesy returned phone call to say " We aren't interested" , or whatever the excuse may be...nothing..just no answer and no returned calls. Do people just not have respect for others anymore? I really don't understand this!

A second go around

So I've tried this blog thing before and it lasted for a whole two entries...that was 2 years ago. I've always liked to write, and I enjoy reading others blogs and thoughts and while reading them wish I could do the same...so here goes...again.

This was my first entry of my last blog....with added thoughts from now in red:

Why do I get so sucked in to romance movies....like the notebook...I really felt so connected to that movie!? I think I just love to be swept off my feet and can never get enough! I want to be romanced 24/7.

Definition : romantic ( n): Merrida. One who enjoys the enchantment in a relationship.

Things that tugg at my heart strings (in no particular order):

1. romance movies( explained above)

2. country music -I think I will always love country music no matter how stupid some songs can be and no matter what they're about...I grew up with this music and for some reason we have a hard time letting go of things that tie us to our childhood. There's something about that twang I that just gets me!

3. People who are truely sincere -mercy is NOT something I have in abundance on people, but when someone is open with me and is truely sincere, my heart goes out to them. THis has also gotten me into much trouble. I tend to be naive or gullable and trust too easily. I want so badly to believe in the good in people. I have learned time and time again to keep my wall up longer, but I don't want to have a wall up, so I tend to take it down naivly!! I wonder when I will learn... This being said, if I let my wall down for someone and they burn me...like I said before, MERCY is NOT something I have in abundance on people. You'll be in my tall, strong wall book for a long time!

4. singing, dancing, modeling career- somehow I just can't let go of this desire...I know it's in me. Anytime I am doing these things I feel like I am really being me.

5.Those brief moments that I wrap my mind around God's greatness..need Iexplain more?