sweet peace of closure

And a HUGE sigh of relief! A burden lifted, bitterness turned sweet, and the black yuckyness in my heart and spirit now cleared and replaced with peace. Closure. Open honesty. Candid, blunt, up front, forward..whatever you want to call it; it is SO key in SO many things! Why do we mask things under ambiguity or "sugar" ? I don't get it, and I never have. It clouds communication, and as we have ALL heard time and time again.."communication is key". We hear it all the time about making marriages work, but it isn't just marriages. That holds true for all relationships from friendships to business relationships. When communication is clouded it complicates things by bringing ambiguity in the picture. When ambiguity makes it's way in, as humans we start to assume to make up for the lack of clarity. And assuming, as we all have experienced, is almost NEVER good or fruitfull. Why can't we all just be clear, open, and honest all the time?

Sometimes I think people have this idea that they don't want to deal with confrontation, so they create a distance in a realtionship. This IS a block in the communication line and creates ambiguity(which we've established is BAD). This is actually what WILL lead to a VERY confrontational situation which is what they were running from in the first place. So again being upfront, open, and honest from the get go is the solution.

I also think that sometimes people are too concerned with offending others. Well I think that you can't offend; people CHOOSE to take offense. I'm not saying to be rude to people. There is a difference in being up front and honest and being down right rude. Rudeness is created by adding poor attitude to your words.

Communicate and do so clearly, openly, and honestly.

This is another one of those things that ties to dancing. If the communication lines (your frame or center) is broken or blocked there is no clarity and assumption begins...ahhh disaster!!

House Hunting

So it has FINALLY come!!! Britt and I are officially looking for our first home. We actually went and looked at some open houses for the first time this weekend. We looked at 4 houses, and I could easily see us living in 3 of the 4. This is gonna be harder than I thought. There are SOO many things to think about and make decisions about...yeah that's right the D word...decisions. I can't even make up my mind at a drive through window. How will I ever make up my mind? So we really don't need all that big of a house...I mean it's just Britt and me. Even if we suddenly popped out a kid...don't get any ideas anyone...that was NOT a hint...we still wouldn't need a lot of room for a while. BUT it is such a great buyer's market right now, we could get a bigger house and probably end up with more equity once the market goes up..... What do I do?? And when I say bigger, I don't mean huge. Like this weekend we looked at a house that was 1365 sq. ft. and one that was 1750 sq. ft. neither of them are HUGE but the 1700+ house was way more than we really even need. All of them have been updated so they didn't need much but the one that was only 1300+ sq. ft. had been totally gutted and had granite counter tops, all new stainless steel sppliances, the really nice expensive carpet, tile, very high quality fixtures ( water fixtures, light fixtures, door knobs and such) I mean it was decked out. BUT it doesn't have a garage and would need a fence in the back yard..well we would like one anyway. The other two we liked had a garage and didn't really need any updates either.....I dunno!!!! All of them however were in newer subdivisions, so they dont' have the charm of the mature subdivisions and we really do love charm..haha..hmmm. So the hunt begins.........

just a quick note

There are so many times when I'm teaching a lesson to a couple that I want to parallel the dancing relationship to a marriage...but I have to remind myself that I'm not a marriage counselor. I use many references when I teach but I don't know that this one is appropriate to use...though VERY relevant. Thoughts are appreciated. I have a friend who is a student and has also realized this paralleled relationship and is writing a book about it. This excited me sooo much!! I encourage all to follow and read it!!! Her blog is linked to the word friend above!!!