photos photos and more photos

Ok so a few new photos from the shoot in August.... Once again, I love this photographer. His equipment broke and it's taken a while to get images from him, but I like them.


Can't wait to see more like this one!!

And I have also gotten some images from my most recent shoot. We had over 1100 shots and I have about 180 + on hand right now...so here is a sneak peak until I get a link to them ...

Sensory Sensative

So I have come to realize that I am a very sensory sensative person. The biggest thing that has affected me lately is the lack of sunshine. I like the dreary weather a few times a year...it has it's time and place. I also LOVE the snow....that's special all in it's own. HOWEVER....day after day after day of dreary weather and no sign of the sun I have determined can drive me clinically INSANE!!!! I think my body just needs it...maybe my mind too. Maybe it's just because I grew up in Texas where the sun is ALWAYS visible...but I think it's more than that. I think MY being just needs it!!! Another thing I have noticed that I am super sensitive to is the attitude I am surrounded by. For example, if I hear a crabby person, I suddenly get this assertive/anxious feeling in my body that makes me want to get up and leave. If I am stuck in that situation and can't leave, I feel like I have to do whatever I can to brighten things up. I literally get this anxiety and need to change the mood. UNLESS it's getting close to that fun time of the month...then you can expect me fire back in crabbiness x10! HAHA!

I wonder if dancing has brought this out in me more...or maybe it's the other way around ... maybe my sensitivity is what enhances my dancing. Letting what I feel from the music flow through my body and then also reacting to whatever my partner gives. That is, in my opinion, one strong suit Chris and I have. We can definately read each other well and feed off of the energy we each give. That is the thing I heard the most from people who watched us dance. I think that is one of the most important things in a professional partnership. Finding that is hard. Everything else can be learned.

So I am SOO excited and very much looking forward to our (Britt and I) night of hot chocolate and christmas lights! I love love it! I really would love to go on a carraige ride...but it's so yucky outside with the rain and sleet not to mention Britt's allergy to horses or any animal for that matter haha! MMMM..hot chocolate, christmas lights and snuggling with my very own personal hottie! It can't get any better than that!! Any ideas of good places to go looking at lights etc is welcomed!!!

OUCH!

So Saturday night went down without any major upsets...thank God! However, my worry from the previous weeks before gave me a very unhappy tummy. I dont' think I gave myself an ulser but my stomach was definately in major knots. I have had knots in my stomach before but nothing like this. It hurt to stretch, hiccup, eat, drink....ugh it was aweful!! But it's gone now...guess I really stressed myself out!!

So this has been the most BLAH birthday month yet....I've been so busy that I haven't gotten to enjoy it at all! And it's almost halfway over already!!

after the battle

Ok so a little disappointing....I came in second in our big game this Thanksgiving....still a threat!! I had another photoshoot the friday after Thanksgiving...can't wait to show you some of the shots. Until then here are a few new ones I recieved from the last shoot...just in time for the holidays!!!

HAHA! This is SOO me at Christmas! Mom, you need this one framed!!





So the winter showcase is this weekend, and Chris and I will be dancing our waltz. Everyone has been waiting to see us dance.....THE PRESSURE...I'm SOOO nervous! I've been nervous for a week and a half now!! AHHH...it's gonna be great!

Britt cracked his right big toe yesterday at work. I didn't think anything could break that big thing, but apparently a 15lb mic stand will do the trick! Poor guy!

West Texas

Just thought I would give those of you who have never seen west TEXAS an all around visual. The good, the Bad, and the UGLY....








Beautiful sky...that you can see cause we don't have many trees...








A beautiful sunset.... you can see the sun still because once again it is flat and there are no trees...








ahh the horizon...







flat..flat...flat nothing but blue sky









DRY...dry..dry cotton field (makes up the majority of the land) leading to....

wonderful dust storms...yes that is a wall of dust rolling in....

and we drive in it....

Still TEXAS proud!!!!

I love being silly

So I totally had something I wanted to blog about today and now that I'm sitting at the computer....I forgot. I am in desperate need of some sunshine. We have had WAY too much dreary and grey weather; I literally think I'm going to be sick if I don't see the sun. I need a good West Texas sunset!! Anyhow...I starting putting up my Christmas decorations and tree this weekend..I know it is before Thanksgiving but this is MY holiday afterall and I am uber excited about it. Yes I do claim Christmas as my own..haha. I love the spirit of this holiday...it is just so thrilling and not to mention a much more romantic holiday than any other which only increases my liking of it since I am a romantic. OH and of course....it is only a few days away from my birthday..making it all the more exciting and MINE..haha! I am definately looking forward to Thanksgiving too though. NOT for the food...oh geez...I'm losing weight..I dont' need great food infront of me all day!! I am anticipating a good butt kicking...me doing the butt kicking that is...in some very nerdy, strategic, intense, and HIGHLY competative board games. WE're talking risk X100 strategic...games that take a bare minimum of 4 hours to play. I am usually the only female playing...poor guys don't stand a chance. I'm sure they're all plotting about how they'll try to beat me...AAhahahaha...hehe that was my evil laugh! It's soo funny..when I first started playing with them they never suspected anything of me...and then I kept beating them at their own games...hahaha..I'm even a mystery when it comes to gaming!!

So I have been told for the third time that I'm an old spirit. When I first heard this I thought NO WAY... I'm so energetic and youthfull and vibrant, but I am beginning to realize exactly what that means. It doesn't mean I'm old and blah..haha like my wording there??... it means ..um classic, wise..maybe..haha..hmmm what am I?

I am a dance addict; I know that. Hi my name is Merrida and I'm a dancaholic. I'm always itching for my next fix...I literally go through withdrawls! My art is so much a part of who I am.

new pics

Got some more new pics....

I feel so sorry for all my dresses...I can't fill any of them out!

Andrea if you see this...um yea can you photoshop me...haha...I should have flexed my arm here so my tricep didn't look so big but yea i didn't....

I really enjoyed working with this photographer. All of the shots with her have been fabulous!! More to come!!

What do I bring to the table...

So in reflections of recent events I have been asking myself what it is that I bring to the table in any new situation, project, endeavor, etc that I passionately pursue. I find myself having all of these grown up dreams and aspirations yet little experience to really make them happen. Any of you (who know me) know that when I want to do something, I don't let anything become an obstacle. There is nothing too great to keep my from accomplishing my dreams, especially a little lack of experience...I'll just go get some!! Sometimes I have to take a moment to just look at what I have done in my life and what I am trying to do and remind myself that HEY...I'm only 23...so I'm doing pretty well so far! I don't know why, but I often feel like I'm older than that and that I'm running out of time. So in pretty much ANYTHING that I do right now...I have little experience. I mean really I've only been out from under my parents roof for 5 years and three of them I was still in college. So only being two years out of college...I'm still a baby. So experience is not going to be an asset I can bring to the table. What is great about me....what makes me different and worth it? I think that my sharp and creative mind is one thing, a lot of natural ability for most anything I've ever pursued, and the other is my drive and commitment. Maybe that seems boring, but I think it is rare. How often do you find a creative mind that is also sharp and highly analytical. It is rare to have them BOTH. I think that it allows me to learn quickly and in different ways than most. I don't have to be "taught" many things. I am able to learn by watching and piecing things together on my own. This is actually how I've learned most everything I think. I am given a small piece of something, and can take it a mile longer on my own. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with my natural ability. I've been a natural in school and on the canvas/court/field/dance floor....analytical and creative. And what about drive and commitment? How valuable is it to have someone with all the experience in the world but that doesn't give you the commitment necessary or have the drive and passion to get past anything that gets in the way? Pretty worthless.

....and how about compatibility......

is what I bring enough?

Respect

So in reference to unamed recent events....

I totally understand and agree that people deserve respect for their degrees of accomplishments. HOWEVER, I do not think that they then have the right to treat others, who may not have reached the same level of accomplishment, disrespectfully. I truely admire those who have had such accomplishments and remain humble and considerate, remembering that they too were once learning and growing. Why is it that this is rarely the case? We all start at the bottom, but it seems like amnesia sets in the more we climb to the top. Suddenly we're too good for this or too good for that or are astonished at people's ignorance to things about which we "know everything and have ALWAYS known EVERYTHING" or at least act like we do. HELLO!!! We all start at ground ZERO...YOU did too...try to remember that!

latest happenings

So nothing new really....not interesting enough to talk about anyhow unless we talk about the recent outcome of the election....not a good idea.

I had a blast at the studio murder mystery/ costume party/ baby shower for shalene. Amy and I were a part of the entertainment of the evening. The setting was 1940's casa blanca 's Hott Cabanna. We were two parts to a trio of sister singers...the third had a sudden case of strep and couldn't join us. We sang an altered version of " You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby" to fit the baby shower. Too fun!

Me and Amy at the MM/COstume party/baby shower!

The studio anniversary party was this past weekend. The best thing about studio events is by far the food...thank you Danny Pugh!!

Me, Melissa, and Lindsey at the anniversary dance!

living on the brink

Sometimes I feel like I'm always living on the edge..on the brink of a great success and at the same time one wobble away from falling. This anxiety is quite draining! I've got my belt cinched and my breath held knowing/hoping the opportunity to exhale is just over the next hill. The problem (if it is really a problem) is I'm such a driven person that once I get over that hill, I've already set my eyes on the next destination, so I never have my moment to exhale!! Maybe that is a quality that leads to success...but it sure is draining! Part of this is probably my tendency to rely on myself to do everything instead of letting things rest in the hands of God. I know that He has me and won't let go and that His plans are best..that he knows me even better than I do. Why is it so hard to hand it over? It's easy to give parts, but the whole thing....letting go of all control....that is scary.

can't get past "cute"

So the word that never ended in the last photoshoot I did was "cute". I dunno that I'll ever get past that stage. No matter what I'm wearing, how my hair is styled, or how I wear my makeup I will always just be "cute"...My challenge to myself is to acheive a more sophisticated or mature look. haha but God has given me the "cute" look....

I like a darker red on my lips....not this one really..hmm love the dress though!

fruition

So this month has been so wonderful so far! God has been moving some huge mountains in my life. He has mended and renewed my heart and spirit in so many ways. AND some things that were prophesied over me a few years ago that I didn't understand at all are being revealed and coming to fruition!! THAT is SO exciting! Breaking through barriers and moving into the next stage of your spiritual relationship is always exciting and refreshing. I'm trying to enjoy it, grow, and strengthen all that I can because I know that it also means that the testing fires will come later

My experience in "The Shack"

So I finished "The Shack" this weekend. I really enjoyed this book. It describes God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit separately and as the trinity from a very different point of view than I have ever looked from. It also paints a vivid picture of their relationship together and the relationship they have with us. I really liked it. I think everyone has a different perception of who God is to them. Many times it is a direct effect to a parental relationship or a perception created as a child. Sometimes I think this can be a hindrance to the relationship between a person and God. This was definitely the case for me. It was refreshing to have my eyes opened to this, and my perception has changed. Because He is who He is, I think He should be the same to everyone. Not to say that every one's relationship with Him will be the same, but every one's perception of WHO He is , His character, should be identical. For me I had my own experience in the shack as I read the book. There were many things in the book that I've heard all my life, but never really understood or grasped until this weekend. Maybe it sounds silly that I could have gotten so much from a "fiction" book, but I believe God really spoke to me through this. I felt like I could have easily been the main character in the book that God was speaking to. I think a person's growth in a spiritual relationship can easily be paralleled to a person's growth in learning to dance. Sometimes in dance you're body just isn't ready to get or do certain things. Your coach can tell you a million times, and you may teach it a million times before your body grasps it. Many times your body has to go through certain stages before it can move on. You have to realize that you'll get it when you get it. I think our spiritual growth is patterned the same way. You'll get it when you get it...I think I've heard that before..OH yes...when I first learned of the gift of tongues (as a prayer language) through the baptism of the Holy Spirit. WOW..that was amazing..I love that! I definitely recommend this book to anyone!

the "new" things

New things going on:



I bought two books yesterday, "The Shack" which I have heard great things about, and "Do You Think I'm Beautiful" which I started reading a few years back and never finished. I started reading "The Shack" last night and couldn't put it down until my eyes just wouldn't stay open any longer. It is so good so far. I am excited about starting to read more again.



The next "new" is my work out regimen. I have started getting up early (as you know, a miracle in itself) and going to the gym to run for 40 min. every morning (another miracle). It is going well. I have discovered that I don't have to get up near as early as I thought to be able to get it done and be ready to work or whatever it is I have to do that day. I feel much better through the day however I swear I'm gaining weight instead of losing it...however; I shall continue.



Mom and Robert are coming into town to visit this weekend. I am excited! We are going to go to Maggiano's tonight for dinner after we pick them up. Saturday Mom and I plan to tootle around Franklin. She LOVES Franklin and I haven't been down there since we moved, so I'm looking forward to it. It should be fun. The rest is in the air...dunno what we're gonna do.



Britt is now working in operations for Guitar Center instead of sales. So far this has been a good move for him. He is far less stressed, is working 8-5 Monday through Friday, and is getting some fabulous new skills that will help if he decides to switch companies.


OH and one last thing...another new pic from the shoot!

Today

So after about a week of my new cut, I am really loving it. I have officially decided that my hair looks best short. Maybe I'll just get a really long wig if I get an urge for length again! HA! It's cold and rainy today BLAH! Yesterday Chris brought an ungodly amount of sugary pastries to the studio so needless to say I had a day full of sugar. I mean that literally. I didn't have ANY real food yesterday..oh wait I did for breakfast. I had a bowl of cereal, a small manog strawberry protein shake,1 lg piece of blueberry pie, half of a cinnimon roll, 1 lemon bar, 1 really fat pumpkin custard bar, a dark chocolate almond zone protein bar (not bad but still), and a wheat wrap with organic (so less sugar) peanut butter and protein...this was a really yummy and not so bad for you meal. I haven't had that much sugar in a REALLY long time. Needless to say I couldn't sleep last night. I had choreography styling in my head all night. We scrapped like half of the choreography yesterday...I like to think of it as a good thing. We're at a point where we really know what we have that fits us and what doesn't...I look at that as progression. Sometimes I really realize how far behind him I am and that is frustrating but I quickly divert my mind. If I think about it too long I think I could slip into a deep depression! ha! When there's something I'm not doing correct, I want to be able to fix immediately because I hate to be the one holding us back from progressing. Poor guy...hope he doesn't give up on me! I wish I had had more proper training from the get go of my dancing. I need to find a way to practice just fundamentals and technique...it's so hard to do it on my own and NO WAY would I expect to work on that with chris. That is my mission for this week...finding a solution...and finding more students!!!

Enough about that. So in about a month or two Britt and I will be completely debt free!!! YEAH! Such a huge weight lifted! Hopefully we will get into our own home soon..so back in debt we'll be but a mortgage isn't so bad.

Random thought: I wonder if I could totally switch out my furniture on craigslist??

Just JUMP!

So I did it...I had a photoshoot this weekend. A little self concious but I had to just do it. At least I will have some updated shots so I can get some work! It'll be about two weeks before I get them back, but here is one that is up so far:












I really love the work of this particular photographer. He does some beautiful things with color and has a funky style! I also met about 6 other photographers during the shoot. They all really liked me and want to set up some gigs, so it was a very productive day! I was SOO tired by the end of the shoot! Ya know how I have that naturally sad look most of the time..well that means for me to even look slightly pleasant, I have to engage my facial muscles somehow...and I'm not even talking about smiling..so by the end of the shoot I needed a facial massage! Needless to say I skipped out on the party Saturday night at the studio! It was a nice break.

I got to work with Larry again! That is always a pleasure! I also met another model from Mt. Juliet who was GORGEOUS! His name is Richard. Would love to work with him again!

Was listeneing to an old CD I have and really diggin this one:

This is my brand new day starting now
I let go the things that weigh me down
And rob me of the beauty that’s to be found In life all around
This is my prayer without ceasing the negative releasing And I rise above my burden is easing
I bring the pure flow, like water around
The rocks of life won’t pull me down
I bring the pure flow, drink so deep
The river of life, my soul at ease
I bring the pure flow, like water around
The rocks of life won’t pull me down
I bring the pure flow, rising above
the storms of life To live and love
This is my brand new day in the light
Troubles rising up on the left and the right
I keep my eyes fixed on where I want to go The rest will follow
And this is my prayer without ceasing the negative releasing And as I rise above my burden is easing
I bring the pure flow, like water around
The rocks of life won’t pull me down
I bring the pure flow, drink so deep
The river of life, my soul at ease
I bring the pure flow, like water around
The rocks of life won’t pull me down
I bring the pure flow, rising above
the storms of lifeTo live and love
This is my brand new day starting now
Letting go of the ways that I fall down
The old can be made new, the lost can be found, the lost will be found
This is my prayer without ceasing the negative releasingAnd as I rise above my burden is easing

My PRECIOUS!! ok I like to just pretend they're mine!

I was looking through my pictures the other day and came across my Precious litte twin nieces! OOOh! I love and miss them sooo much! They will be 2 Oct. 17th I believe. These pics are from my trip in June to Texas and I haven't seen them since! I miss them so much! These two girls couldn't be more different. Aubry looks just like my sister: fair skin, dark blonde to light brown hair, big eyes, round cheeks. She also acts just like Laurel did. Addison is just like her daddy: brown skin, dark hair, dark eyes, she has his small and is TINY!
Britt was holding Aubry up to let her pull the string on the ceiling fan that turns the light off. She LOVED him forever for it!














Britt was flipping Addison (aka Addy). She Loved him forever for it!
















Mom and Addison! She's a cutie!
















Mom and Aubry! Love that hair! She sucks her two middle fingers when she's a tired girl. Laurel even has sonogram pictures of her doing it in the womb! What's even better about it is that it looks like the Hook'em Horns sign..for UT (texas) and for those who don't know, all of my family goes to Texas Tech a HUGE rival of UT! HAHA!
























She was so proud of her potty star! Ha ha that child's hair...will it ever grow past the mullet stage?











It looks like Aubry's getting ready to try to get that star from Addy!














OH I love these two pics! Too precious!

IT's DONE

Ok so the decision was made! I cut my hair yesterday. It is a little shorter than I asked for..ok about an inch but that's ok. I really wanted it to be a little more bobish..kinda long and piecy in front and stacked in the back but it is really more pixie like. Really not a fan of it in a T-shirt! I was contemplating being tinker bell for halloween, so I guess this completes it! HA! Although by halloween it will be more bobish! It's not any shorter than I've had before, and it will last me a little longer than usual. I had her do my roots too so I am waiting a few days to wash my hair ( so I don't dry it out) SO that means I can't really re-style it and add in my normal products so today it is not really doing what I want it to! BOO!

Uncovering one of the many questions...

So one of the biggests things that throws people off about who I am is my initial reserved character that comes through in the beginning of a new setting or relationship. Not that I have to tell any of you. You have had your time of experiencing that. Then there is the sudden burst of my real personality that comes out of nowhere. HAHA! It's always funny to see people's reaction to that first time.

I like to think of the beginning not as reservation but as observation. It's quite a good idea really. Think about it. We've all done it...or seen it happen...the infamous insertion of the foot into the mouth in a new setting around people you may not know really well. SO I choose to observe the new situation and/or people first. Then I know what I can/can't say/do around those people. Now, this is not to be confused with being fake. I am never fake around people; I simply choose how much of myself to expose. And there you have it!

Another first impression many people get of me is that I am stuck up (which I'm not even close to being). This comes from the initial reservation and the fact that I naturally have a not so friendly look on my face. When my face is relaxed, I look mad or mean. Personally, I don't care. If I try to look different all day, the muscles in my face hurt at the end of the day. One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when people tell me to smile or make a comment to "be happy" or "life's not so bad..smile". I AM HAPPY!! This is my face people..the one I was born with..deal with it! Those comments usually push the laser button and those people then see what my unhappy face really looks like. ha! ...I do laugh a lot though. A day without a great big dose laughter is ...blah.

the real TOUGH decisions of life

So the decision to make is: to cut the hair or not to cut the hair. For those of you who have known me for any length of time, you know that I change my hair quite often..about every 6 months maximum. Well that six months is coming round and I'm getting the itch. So about 6 months ago I decided to grow my hair out. Well it is to the length that gets on my nerves. I am trying to do anything I can to get through it...curl it, pull it back..SOMETHING. Then I got to thinking...Why am I growing it out anyway? I do really like my hair long but does it really look better? I think I look younger with it long which is good especially if I want to continue doing some modeling/acting, but as a dancer I think it works better short. What to do...

I need to get some new photos for my portfolio. I need to make up my mind about my hair though before I do. AND being the perfectionist that I am, of course, I am not in the bodily shape that I want to be in, so I am also kind of stalling for that reason as well. My stalling just keeps me from getting it done and getting work!! I just need to do it!

So I actually got up early and ran yesterday! A miracle I know! I freakin hate to run unless I am in the kind of shape that I actually get a high from it. Getting into that shape really isn't fun, and I'm all about the fun things in life. I didn't really run for all that long, but I'm feeling it today. I know that is a sign that I need to do it more..maybe if I had a running buddy. I just have to think about what I'll look and feel like when I get into shape from running. It really is worth all the pain and suffering!

BIG sigh

So I received an email today from my one and only competative student. He is a college student, and can no longer afford to continue with his lessons. This makes me sad and feel like IT will never happen for me. I really don't like those days that I feel like that. It is so very different to teach a student who has competative intentions. I love it, and now it is gone. I have to remind myself that it is just another phase, and it will open doors for someone new to take his place. It just really came at a bad time right now though. MANY of my current students are wedding couples. It is a great struggle to get these students to continue with their dancing after their wedding. They come in with a mind set that they are there to learn to dance for the wedding, so I have to change that mindset before the wedding. I don't want to change it just for the fact that I need to keep my student body though. I hope that as an instructor I can open the eyes of my students to the greatness of dancing and what it gives...so much that they will want to continue learning. ANyhow, all of them are getting married in OCtober, so my fear is that I will lose a great deal of my teaching hours through this month. ANd now my solid competative student is gone. HUghf! Why is it so hard in the beginning to get things going. I just want like 5 more dedicated and commited students.

Where to find them....

Sometimes I think I've found one. They are so excited about dancing and come across as very dedicated and hard working. They have great passion for it, but then I can't get them to call me back to get booked! I don't understand that approach that people take. It's like they think you're going to eat them alive if they say that they don't want to learn, so they lead you on and tell you the opposite to your face and then run and won't answer the phone to be booked. No courtesy returned phone call to say " We aren't interested" , or whatever the excuse may be...nothing..just no answer and no returned calls. Do people just not have respect for others anymore? I really don't understand this!

A second go around

So I've tried this blog thing before and it lasted for a whole two entries...that was 2 years ago. I've always liked to write, and I enjoy reading others blogs and thoughts and while reading them wish I could do the same...so here goes...again.

This was my first entry of my last blog....with added thoughts from now in red:

Why do I get so sucked in to romance movies....like the notebook...I really felt so connected to that movie!? I think I just love to be swept off my feet and can never get enough! I want to be romanced 24/7.

Definition : romantic ( n): Merrida. One who enjoys the enchantment in a relationship.

Things that tugg at my heart strings (in no particular order):

1. romance movies( explained above)

2. country music -I think I will always love country music no matter how stupid some songs can be and no matter what they're about...I grew up with this music and for some reason we have a hard time letting go of things that tie us to our childhood. There's something about that twang I that just gets me!

3. People who are truely sincere -mercy is NOT something I have in abundance on people, but when someone is open with me and is truely sincere, my heart goes out to them. THis has also gotten me into much trouble. I tend to be naive or gullable and trust too easily. I want so badly to believe in the good in people. I have learned time and time again to keep my wall up longer, but I don't want to have a wall up, so I tend to take it down naivly!! I wonder when I will learn... This being said, if I let my wall down for someone and they burn me...like I said before, MERCY is NOT something I have in abundance on people. You'll be in my tall, strong wall book for a long time!

4. singing, dancing, modeling career- somehow I just can't let go of this desire...I know it's in me. Anytime I am doing these things I feel like I am really being me.

5.Those brief moments that I wrap my mind around God's greatness..need Iexplain more?